A Pointless Fluff Fic in Which Everything Goes Wonderfully Wrong
by snoodlebutter
Summary: Yeah, it's just the Teenage AU with a more accurate name lol What happens when, by chance a lonely teenager and a baby encounter each other during a moment of need? Fluff, that's what. And also everything goes wonderfully wrong. Sound familiar to the RW AU? That's 'cause it kinda is, but less angsty ;D *maybe* I can't write summaries
1. Chapter 1

**Surprise! I'm back, and I've come out from under my bridge to give you another AU that nobody asked for! Wooo!**

**Did you come here for a plot, or maybe some substance? Perhaps even some _angst_? Then sorry, but you ain't gonna find it here!**

**The only thing comin' out of this AU is fluff! Pure, sickly sweet saccharine cuteness that no one would ever guess could come from the angst bucket that is me!**

**This AU's _wayyy_ easier to write for than the others, so don't be surprised if (when) this one gets updated more lol though it'll be more like a series of one shots than a linear story.**

**I honestly can't believe this hasn't been done already tbh**

**A Few Details:**

**Ralph is 16, Felix is 15, Van is 7-8 months**

**Oh, and it's kinda sad that I feel the need to put a disclaimer here, but I know that there are nasties out there, and I don't want them ANYWHERE near this AU. _Get out_. That's not welcome here and neither are you.**

**Still here? Good, I'm done being angry, let's get on with it!**

**If chapter 1 seems familiar, that's because it's basically just a re-write of the first chapter of the RW AU, with some key differences. Don't worry though, that's the only similarity!**

**As always, don't like, don't read!**

* * *

"Wow, it got cold fast," Ralph mumbled to himself as he trudged through his daily walk home.

Today had been rough. School was really starting to get to him. His grades were dropping, his teachers criticized him constantly, and the other students all thought he was a thug.

If anyone bothered to get to know him, they'd see that he didn't have a mean bone in his body.

It wasn't _his_ fault he looked like this. It wasn't _his_ fault he was on his own. It wasn't _his_ fault he could only afford to live on the shady side of town with what he made on his dead end minimum wage job. _And _it wasn't his fault nobody else would hire him because he looked like he could kill someone any minute. But it wasn't like he had any qualifications anyway.

He was still just a _kid_. He shouldn't have to worry about rent and bills and how he was going to support himself day-to-day.

Sometimes he got jealous of his peers. When he overheard their conversations and petty complaints about how unfair their parents were for not buying them something, or how their biggest problem was convincing them to let them stay out past curfew, it made his temper flare. Ralph's biggest worry was whether he'd be able to pay his rent on time each month, and whether he'd be able to pay that, the rest of his bills, _and_ eat.

There was only one person Ralph had who understood him. Ty, better known by his nickname "Turbo," for his love of video games, especially racing games, was Ralph's childhood friend and confidant. They met at the local arcade as kids and met there religiously every week. Even when things went downhill with Ralph's home life, every Wednesday he'd make his way to the arcade, even as his spending money dwindled. When his father became more and more distant and aggressive, Ralph still made his weekly pilgrimage.

But after being kicked out and having to support himself, Ralph found he couldn't afford it anymore. He had to give up what had been one of the highlights of his weeks throughout his childhood. His favorite method of escapism wasn't an option anymore. He had to face his cruel reality, forced into adulthood way too soon. Alone.

It wasn't _fair_.

When Ralph stopped going to the arcade Ty did too. They just started hanging out at Ralph's apartment every Wednesday instead, playing on his old console. They had a kind of symbiotic relationship. They'd met at the arcade when Ralph's home life was rough, and at Ralph's place when Turbo needed an escape.

Today was Friday though, so Ralph was alone. As he was six days a week. All by himself in his cold, dark apartment.

He pulled his hood up a little further over his head. He was taking his shortcut, so nobody would see him and think he was going to mug them. He didn't think he could tolerate their stares and anxious murmurs tonight.

As he maneuvered through the narrow alley, he heard a muffled sound he'd never heard before.

Probably_ just a rat_, he shuddered, quickening his pace.

But it wasn't a rat, as whatever it was made another sound the man had never heard a rodent make.

It whimpered.

This stopped Ralph in his tracks. That sounded like a- a _person_. But he soon pinpointed the sound to a cardboard box nestled among the heaps of trash piled up against the wall. No, it couldn't be, no person was small enough to-

Then a terrible thought hit him. The only way a person could be that small would be if it was a...

_No_, he stopped himself, a knot forming in his stomach at the question taking shape in his mind like a dark cloud.

He quickly fumbled around in his backpack until he found the little book light Felix had lent him to study with last month, when he didn't pay his bill on time and the electricity was shut off.

Shining the light onto the trash pile, he found the box, the flaps flimsily covering the top. He tentatively pulled them back, and was startled when a pair of _eyes_, _human_ eyes, met his own. They were a bright hazel, and belonged to the smallest person Ralph had ever seen. He stumbled back.

His terrible thought was _right_. He could barely process what he was seeing. Someone had left a _baby_ in a box in a dark alley. The knot in his stomach unraveled into dread.

He frantically turned around, as if whoever left it would materialize and take it back.

_This can't be real._

The baby whined at the bright light shining in it's eyes, tearing Ralph from his thoughts.

He turned back around, looking at it for a minute before picking the child up as gently as he could and holding it at arm's length. He obviously didn't know how to hold a baby.

_Not an it_, he scolded himself after looking the child over, _a_ her.

Ralph had no experience with kids, but he was pretty sure the pink bow in the baby's feathery black hair was a good sign it was a girl. She was also wearing pink footy pajamas and there was a pink blanket in the box. Yeah, he figured it was safe to assume that this kid was a girl.

They stared at each other for a minute, impossibly wide hazel eyes meeting dark brown, before she whined again. Her mouth started to quiver, and her eyes started welling up. She shivered.

Ralph was no expert, but he saw fear every day, usually directed at him, and if he scared adults, it only made sense that he'd frighten a baby even more so. He put her down, setting her back in the box, but this seemed to upset her more.

Now he was confused.

The tiny girl looked around and whimpered, then held out her tiny hands as if she were trying to reach him.

Now he was even _more_ confused.

Was she _not_ scared of him? Did she want him to hold her? He hesitantly picked her back up, bringing her close to his chest this time.

That was exactly what she wanted. The baby immediately calmed down, nuzzling into his chest. She stopped shaking the second Ralph placed his hand on her back to support her. It almost completely covered her. Ralph didn't think he'd ever seen anyone so _small_.

This was weird. Babies usually hated him, just like everyone else, and he wasn't too fond of them either.

He gave a little laugh. _That_ was what he chose to think of as weird in this whole mess.

Though he wasn't a "kid person" by any means, he'd be lying if he said this kid didn't melt his heart the _tiniest_ bit.

But now he was lost. What was he supposed to do now? Take her home? Take her to the police station? He couldn't afford baby stuff, he could barely afford both his bills and food as it was, and there wasn't anything in that box other than the blanket. He rifled through it with his free hand, trying to find a hint to her name, her home, _anything_ that could identify this kid.

This jostled the little girl in his arms and woke her up from her doze. She glared at the teen, and he stifled a chuckle as he apologized. Why he was apologizing to someone who couldn't possibly understand him he didn't know.

He took the blanket out of the box and placed it over the tiny girl, and got somewhat of an insight into her identity.

On the corner of the pink article were three letters, _V.V.S_.

_Initials!_ he realized excitedly. While he didn't know what they stood for, at least he had an idea. At least he knew she _had_ a name.

V.

That_ should be easy_, Ralph thought, _how many names starting with V could there possibly be?_

He couldn't take her to the police station now, it was getting late, but he knew just who to call. Another childhood friend, in fact Turbo's cousin, Felix. He was good with kids and had run a babysitting service through middle school. They'd grown apart in recent years, but he was the only person Ralph could think of to help him in this situation. He took his phone out and dialed the number he'd memorized by heart years ago. He heard the dial tone as the phone on the other end started ringing.

Hearing his old friend pick up the phone, Ralph took a deep breath.

"Hey Felix, I think I need some help."

* * *

After describing the situation to a very shocked Felix, they agreed to meet at Ralph's apartment. Felix would bring all the things the baby would need. Then tomorrow they'd figure out where to go from there.

Ralph's stomach fluttered. Even though he considered himself much more responsible than most people his age (he did support himself after all), he didn't know if he could do this. Ralph didn't know how to take care of a baby, _at all_. What if he screwed up and hurt her or broke her or messed her up or something?

He was pulled from his worrying thoughts as he felt the baby start to tremble again. It _had_ gotten colder. He had to get both of them home quick. He zipped his jacket almost all the way up to his chin to protect the tiny girl from the biting chill.

How could someone leave a baby in weather like this, or _at all_ for that matter? What would've happened to the kid if he hadn't found her when he did? Ralph shook his head, deciding not to focus on those questions, but rather on the task at hand. There would be plenty of time to worry about that later.

By the time they got home the baby was fast asleep, and he didn't know what to do with her, or where to put her without waking her up. So he just sat down with her on the couch and waited for his old friend to arrive.

He didn't have to wait long though, as just five minutes later Ralph heard a polite knock on the door. Felix was punctual as always. He smirked.

The younger teen looked nervous, and Ralph couldn't blame him. He wasn't used to coming around this part of town. He also looked about ready to collapse under the weight of all the stuff he was carrying. Ralph quickly moved to take some of it from him, stunned that someone so small could need _so_ much stuff.

"Oof, thank you brother," Felix said, panting from his arduous climb up the stairs.

"_Wow_," Ralph said, speechless.

He was beyond overwhelmed. How could she need _all_ this?!

"Now, where's that baby?" Felix said, recovering almost instantly.

"Oh, she's right here," Ralph said, unzipping his jacket, thankful for the distraction.

"Awwwh, what a cutie! Can I hold her?" Felix completely melted at the sight of the baby, as expected.

"Uh, sure." Ralph carefully handed her to Felix, trying not to wake her.

This didn't work though, as once she felt her position change the girl woke up, rubbing her eyes and scowling slightly, trying to take in the new environment and new person holding her. It all became too much for her though, and as soon as her eyes met Ralph's, her little hands reached out again and she made grabby motions at him.

"Aw, she wants you, Ralph," Felix said good-naturedly, handing her back.

Once she was in his arms again the little girl burrowed into his shoulder, gripping his shirt and glancing warily at Felix out of the corner of her eye. Almost like she was afraid of him.

_She probably isn't afraid of_ him, Ralph corrected, _Maybe she's just shy._

He really couldn't blame her though. Being left all alone in a dark seedy alley would probably give anyone reason to be nervous around strangers.

But she had never been wary of him. In fact she'd attached herself to Ralph right away.

Ralph had no idea what he'd gotten himself into.

Soon Felix began teaching him how to care for the baby.

There was so much to learn in so little time it made his head spin. How was he supposed to do this on his own?

Right after Felix showed him how to make a bottle, the baby started to get fussy.

"What's wrong kid?" Ralph asked as if she would answer him.

"I think someone's hungry." Felix answered. He led his friend to the couch and handed him the bottle he'd just made, showing him how to feed the little girl.

She made quick work of the bottle, surprising both the teens.

"Jeez, you really _were_ hungry." Ralph remarked, poking her tummy and making the little girl giggle. It was the first time he'd heard her laugh, and he couldn't help but smile himself. He could get used to hearing that.

Just a couple minutes later though, the baby's good mood seemed to vanish, and she started to squirm a bit in discomfort.

"What's wrong now?" Ralph asked her.

"She needs to be burped," Felix answered matter-of-factly, taking the girl from Ralph and setting her on his shoulder. She whined a little as the stranger held her, but calmed down as he gently rubbed her back.

"Do you have a rag or something?" he asked, and Ralph looked at him questioningly for a moment.

"Y'know, in case she spits up." Ralph didn't know what that meant, but he went to get one anyway.

He soon found out though, as Felix started patting the baby's back, trying to get her to let out a burp.

After a short time, she did indeed give one, but a little extra came up as well.

"That," Felix said, removing the now dirty cloth from his shoulder, "is why I needed the rag."

_"Ew."_

Comfortable and happy once again, the tiny girl giggled and cooed as Ralph played with her. Soon enough though, it became obvious that something _else_ was wrong, but she didn't notice. It was hard for the teenagers _not_ to notice though. Even someone as dense as Ralph when it came to babies knew what was wrong instantly.

"Is that-" Ralph started to ask.

"Yep." Felix replied, already knowing what his friend was about to say.

Ralph cringed.

"I got it." Felix took the baby from his friend and started walking to the bathroom, the diaper bag he'd brought in hand.

"Hey missy, I think you need a change."

She whined in protest, reaching for Ralph again, as if he could save her from this fate she thought worse than death.

Ralph however, only rubbed his temples. He was becoming overwhelmed again. He'd only been a parent for all of an hour, and so much had happened. He had no idea babies needed _so_ much attention. What if he couldn't do it without Felix's help?

A few minutes into his mini breakdown though, the two returned, the baby being in a much better mood. She looked at Ralph with a smile, but it soon turned to a concerned little pout as she realized something was wrong with him.

Felix set her on the floor and she crawled over to the couch, pulling a little on Ralph's pant leg. When he didn't respond, she decided he must not have felt it, so she pulled herself up to a standing position, using the coffee table as balance. This caught Ralph's attention.

"Woah, you can stand?! Felix is she supposed to do that?!" he suddenly yelped, startling the toddler and making her lose her balance. She landed with a little thump.

"Whoops. Sorry kid," he said sheepishly as she sent him a glare from the floor.

"Will this make up for it?" he asked as he picked her up again, booping her nose.

She cooed contentedly, the scowl instantly turning into that smile he was growing to love. Yep, that made up for it.

Ralph laughed.

The baby didn't know what she'd done to raise the teen's spirits but she was happy she had, so she laughed too.

Ralph realized that while he was good at playing with the kid, he had a lot to learn when it came to just about _everything_ else.

* * *

"Huh," Felix looked at his watch after a while, "I didn't realize how late it was getting."

As if on cue, the baby, who they'd decided to call V for the time being, yawned and rubbed her eyes.

"Yeah, it's about bedtime for you little one," he cooed, brushing her hair out of her face and getting a sleepy smile in return.

"Here Ralph, let me show you how to set up her bed." Felix said as they went to the bedroom.

It was tougher than it looked. It took them a ridiculous amount of time to figure out how to put the stupid thing together, and Felix _knew_ how to do it.

Once they were done, both teens sighed.

"Okay kid, time for bed," Ralph said, or more like yawned, laying V down and draping the little pink blanket over her.

But the little girl had other plans.

Sitting up and looking around in that frantic way she had done when Ralph had first discovered her, she whined and did the grabby hand thing again. Ralph groaned.

"C'mon kid, you saw how hard it was to put this dumb thing together, the least you can do is sleep in it!"

Nope. More grabby hands, except now with the quivery mouth and watery eyes. _Not again._ He could feel his resolve starting to crumble immediately. Jeez, just a couple hours and this kid had him wrapped around her little finger.

"Kid, _no_, you're tired and it's time for bed. I'm gonna come to bed too in a little bit." This was harder than he thought, and he resisted the urge to pick her up when she whimpered.

He turned around and left the room before he could change his mind, leaving the door open a crack, but stopped in his tracks instantly when V began to cry. Frazzled by the loud noise coming from something _so little_ (he still couldn't get over how teeny she was), he immediately backtracked on his plan and picked her up, holding her close just as he had back in the alley.

But that didn't work this time.

Felix rushed in, asking what happened.

"I-I just put her down, a-and she d-didn't wanna go to bed, and grabby hands, a-an I said no, and I left, and she got upset." He babbled helplessly.

Felix sighed, moving to take her from Ralph, which the other was grateful for, but when he did so, V started wailing louder. Nope, she wanted _Ralph_.

Felix quickly handed her back and the older teen pinched the bridge of his nose frustratedly, having no idea what to do.

But then he thought of something.

Again, Ralph didn't know much about babies, in fact he'd never felt dumber than he had tonight, but he thought he remembered that you were supposed to rock them to sleep. There was a whole song about it, right?

So that's what he did. He started to rock back and forth, back and forth, humming the melody to an old lullaby his mother used to sing to him when he was little, and eventually her cries died down. She looked up at him, tears still pooling in her eyes. After a few minutes she started getting sleepy again, rubbing her tired eyes to wipe away the last of her tears.

Ralph smiled, he was finally doing something right! V snuggled into his chest and her eyes fluttered for a moment before drifting closed, her breathing evening out into calm, steady breaths. He did it, she was asleep!

But now what?

He looked at Felix, whose glance at the crib told him that she should sleep in her own bed. Good call, he'd be terrified of rolling over on her and wouldn't get any sleep if she slept in his bed. Tiptoeing over to it as quietly as possible, he laid her down again as gently as he could, and draped her blanket over her again. She only stirred slightly, and he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

Felix left the room, and Ralph glanced back. He figured he should follow, but found himself just staring at the sleeping girl.

She was _so small_. How old was she? She _must_ have been abandoned. But _how_ could someone do that? The thought made him angry, but he didn't get to ruminate on it much longer thankfully, as Felix returned to the doorway to see what was keeping his friend.

He smiled when he saw the sweet scene.

"I think I'm gonna head home." Felix whispered.

"Are you sure? You can crash here if ya want."

"Nah, the folks'll worry. But you can call me if you need any help, ok?"

"Ok, I will."

Felix turned to leave.

"Oh, and Felix?"

The younger teen turned back around to face his old friend.

"Thanks." Ralph sheepishly smiled.

"No problem brother." The younger teen tipped his hat, gathering his things before heading out.

Felix's leaving made Ralph a bit nervous, if he was honest.

What if the baby needed something? What if he didn't know what to do? The knot in his stomach was starting to come back.

_No._

He couldn't keep worrying about the what-ifs. They wouldn't do him any good, and he wouldn't get _any_ sleep. He could always call Felix if he needed to. It'd be ok. It was just one night. Just a few hours.

There'd be plenty of worrying to do tomorrow anyway.

This whole situation was overwhelming and made for easily the weirdest night of Ralph's life. But also the most eventful one he'd had in a _long _time.

As he stared at his ceiling, Ralph thought maybe it wasn't so bad. A night that started with him feeling lonely and sad ended with him having two other people in his usually empty home. And as he listened to the soft breaths of the tiny girl next to him, he thought maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

**There it is, Chapter One!**

**I know, I kno****w**** it's a little angsty, but this is just the first chapter. I gotta establish _how _Ralph gets Van after all. It's all fluff from here, folks.**

**What do you think of this new AU? Please let me know, I'd love to get some feedback! **

**Also, if you're interested in seeing more of this, please tell me _how _you'd like to see it. Would you rather have all the chapters together in one story as a compilation of one-shots or published as separate chapters? I've really been on the fence on how to do this so any opinions are greatly appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 1 Again

**Hiya! **

**I decided to try something new with this AU- a POV switch chapter! **

**This is basically just chapter one again- but from little Vanny's perspective this time! I thought it'd be fun, since the same situation can be different to different people- especially if the person is a baby. Plus it adds a bit of backstory- which is *surprise* a bit on the angsty side. But honestly, what did you expect from me?**

**I know I promised less angst after the first chapter- but technically this still _is _the first chapter, heh**

**But no seriously it will get better I promise it's not just gonna be me torturing these poor kids *ahem* _again._**

**Idk I just thought it'd be neat lol.**

* * *

Vanellope von Shweitz was _too much_.

Knowing her story, one could hardly blame her.

She'd been given up before she'd even been born, and all she knew was being tossed from home to home, handed back when the families couldn't deal with her near constant inconsolable wailing.

_It wasn't that she was _bad, they'd always say, _she was just a little _too much_ for them to handle._

At heart, most of the families had good intentions, trying to give the little girl a loving home. But nobody could handle her. It was almost like she knew how hopeless her situation was.

When she eventually ended up with King, it became obvious he couldn't deal either. Or, more accurately, he just _wouldn't_. Unlike the others, he didn't have good intentions and didn't even try to deal.

When she got too much he just- _left_.

He just left the little girl alone for _hours_ to helplessly fend for herself, alone and frightened. And sad.

Usually when he came back he smelled funny. He'd yell at Vanny, and sometimes things would break. At this point she'd learned to stop crying, even though he scared her, because if she didn't it'd get worse.

But by the time he was in that state it was too late. No matter how hard she tried to keep quiet, he just wouldn't stop. The yells and shatters would echo from the apartment well into the night, and the only thing she could do was cower.

She'd try to hide under her blanket, but this rarely worked. She'd cover her eyes and try to go away, but he always found her.

She didn't understand _why_ this kept happening.

Sometimes she wished he'd just go away for good. Then she could finally be _happy_, an unfamiliar feeling to the baby. She wished the nice lady would take her back, to find another family, one who, despite not being able to handle her, would at least _try_ to offer a loving home. But the lady never came when she needed her.

One day he came back smelling worse than ever before.

Vanny crinkled her nose at the strong scent and startled at the slam of the door.

She knew better than to cry when he smelled like that so she went quiet instantly, though her eyes were watery as she looked fearfully up at her "caretaker."

He picked her up roughly, slurring words she didn't understand as he grabbed an empty box.

"I can't _take_ you anymore," however had was a statement Vanny _did _understand, in fact it'd become a familiar one. Every family said that before they sent her back.

Her blood ran cold and her stomach twisted itself into a knot as she heard the dreaded statement once again.

She trembled at the chilly twilight breeze that hit her as they walked outside.

The sun was setting quickly, it'd be dark soon.

Vanny didn't like the dark.

After a bit of a walk they reached an alley, and there he set the box down.

While she'd stayed silent the whole time, the man looked down when something dripped onto his hand.

For a fleeting moment, something human flashed in his eyes, but it was gone in an instant.

All at once he lay the blanket down in the box, setting her in after it surprisingly gently.

She looked up, confused.

He hastily moved to leave.

Vanny reached out after him. She was _scared_.

While she didn't like him, she'd rather be back in the apartment than alone and cold in the dark.

But he was gone.

She whimpered.

After a few minutes spent staring into the dark as if he'd come back for her, Vanny pulled the flaps to close the box over her. Wrapping herself up as best she could in the little pink blanket, she tried to stop her shivering, which had become violent with the bitter chill that seemed to get worse by the minute.

She tried to will herself to sleep, as if this could just be a bad dream and she'd wake up soon. Maybe when she woke up the lady would be back, and take her to another mommy and daddy. And maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't be too much for them. Maybe she'd be just right.

But just as she was starting to nod off she heard a noise, and was instantly awake. Living with King had taught her to be a light sleeper.

It almost sounded like _footsteps_.

The little girl whimpered despite herself, and the steps stopped.

After another tense moment, during which she held her breath, not daring to move an inch, she heard another sound. It was the rustle of the box's flaps being lifted up, followed by a bright light shining right in her eyes.

She whined at the light, and the stranger moved it a moment later.

Now she could get a good look at the person. It was a man. She instantly tensed up.

But then she met his eyes. They were a deep brown, and looked warm and kind, the complete opposite of the cold and harsh eyes of her previous guardian.

After another moment he reached down, picking the baby up gingerly and holding her away from his chest.

Her vision became blurry as she looked at him, never breaking their eye contact. Vanny honestly didn't know why she was upset, she was just so overwhelmed with- _something_. Maybe it was relief, or maybe it was fear, she didn't know, she couldn't identify her emotions yet.

All she knew was that she was cold and hungry and frightened, and that she wanted nothing more in the world than for this stranger to hold her close.

The teen didn't understand this though, and thinking her tears were because of him, he set her back down.

_No!_ She didn't want him to leave. The alley was dark and scary and she- she needed him! She didn't want to stay here! She reached out desperately for him to hold her again, to rescue her, to comfort her.

After a moment of confusion he tentatively picked her back up and she immediately calmed down, instinctively nuzzling into his chest. He placed a supportive hand on her back, and it covered her like a blanket, making her trembling stop instantly. She yawned. Vanny didn't think she'd ever felt so safe. She could hear his steady heartbeat and was warm under his jacket. She had just allowed herself to drift off when she was jostled by him rifling through the box.

The baby managed a glare, and after another moment the movement stopped, followed by a sheepish apology and the soothing sensation of walking (or being walked?). The teen's lumbering gait, along with his heartbeat and the muffled sound of his voice talking to someone she couldn't see lulled Vanny into a peaceful sleep almost instantly.

* * *

When Vanny awoke, she was in a whole new place. And in the arms of a whole new person, she realized after a second. Overwhelmed with taking all of this in at once, her eyes met those of the man who'd saved her, and she reached out. She wanted him!

The other teen seemed to realize this and handed her back to his friend.

"Aw, she wants you, Ralph."

Once back in the taller teen's, _Ralph's_ arms, she snuggled into his shoulder, gripping his shirt like a lifeline in her tiny hands, almost as if she thought she'd end up back in the alley if she let go. Vanny decided she wasn't too fond of the boy who'd tried to take her away and glanced warily at him.

The teens started talking about- well, she didn't know what- after a minute, but she wasn't paying attention, distracted by a familiar gnawing feeling that was growing more uncomfortable by the minute.

Vanny was _hungry_, and she started to voice her need.

"What's wrong, kid?"

"I think someone's hungry."

The teen shifted to sit on the couch, and after a moment she found a bottle in her mouth, stopping her protests instantly.

She made quick work of it, never breaking eye contact with the dark eyes of the larger teen.

"Jeez, you really were hungry," he poked her ticklish tummy and she giggled, content and full.

A couple minutes later though, the pleasant full feeling turned into an ache. She squirmed.

"What's the matter now?"

"She needs to be burped."

With that, the smaller boy, the stranger, plucked her from his friend's warm arms. Vanny started to fuss again.

He shushed her, gently rubbing her back, calming her down with the unfamiliar gentle touch.

Her tummy troubles vanished as he patted her back, making her burp (and spit-up a little).

Now comfortable, she smiled at the stranger, deciding _maybe_ he was alright.

She smiled when she was handed back, and giggled as Ralph played with her. She couldn't remember the last time she was so happy, the touch-starved little girl absolutely adored all the attention.

She was so happy, in fact, that she didn't notice something else that desperately needed attention.

Until the younger teen took her again.

"Hey missy, I think you need a change."

No! She wanted to play! The little girl whined in protest, reaching for Ralph to save her.

But now he wasn't paying attention.

Pouting, Vanny gave in to her fate.

"Oh don't be dramatic, it's not so bad," he laughed.

(You don't want to read the details of this and I don't want to write them, I think we all know how this works- so timeskip to like five minutes later)

"See, isn't that better?" he asked as he buttoned her footie pajamas back up, "Not such a big deal, huh? Now you can play again."

Vanny smiled at the smaller teen, _Felix_, she'd learned his name was, deciding that he was definitely alright.

She smiled when she saw Ralph too, but it morphed into a pout when she realized something was wrong with him.

Felix set her down and she tentatively tried to get his attention. She pulled his pant leg. Nope, that didn't work. She looked up at the coffee table, grabbing the edge and pulling herself up.

_That_ got Ralph's attention, and he shouted something, startling Vanny and making her lose her balance.

_Owie._ She glared up at him.

"Whoops, sorry kid. Will this make up for it?" He picked her up and booped her nose to his.

She cooed happily, the offense already forgotten. He laughed, and despite not knowing what exactly she'd done to change his mood so quickly, she was happy she had.

After a while though Vanny started getting sleepy. She yawned and rubbed her eyes.

Noticing this, Felix gently brushed her hair back, making her smile, "Yeah, it's about bedtime for you, little one."

They went into another room where Ralph set her down, earning a weak protest.

She watched them wrestle with- _something_ for a few minutes, entertained by their little show.

Once they'd _finally_ gotten it together, he picked her back up. "Ok kid, time for bed. It's been a pretty crazy day, huh?"

He didn't know the half of it. It'd been a pretty crazy _life_.

He laid her down in the contraption they'd put together, which she now recognized as a crib.

She didn't like that.

Vanny sat up instantly, looking at Ralph and reaching up to be held. She didn't want to be alone again.

"C'mon kid, you saw how hard it was to put this dumb thing together, the least you can do is sleep in it!"

No! She didn't want him to leave, she didn't want to fall asleep! What if he was gone when she woke up? _What if she was back in the alley when she woke up?!_

At this thought, hot tears started pooling in her eyes and her lip trembled.

"Kid, _no_, you're tired and you need to sleep. I'm gonna head to bed too in a bit."

She whimpered, on the very edge.

All at once, before he could cave Ralph turned around and left, leaving the door open just a crack.

Vanny lost it.

She was _scared_ and it was _dark_ and she was _alone_, just like in the alley, _just like at King's house_, and she really _was_ tired, and she wanted nothing more than to fall asleep _safe_ in Ralph's arms, the only place she'd _ever_ felt truly secure.

Her wails instantly brought Ralph back, and he held the tiny girl to his chest again in an attempt to soothe her.

But that didn't work this time. Now she was too upset, too overwhelmed, too scared, too tired, too _done_ with everything to take it anymore.

She heard Ralph say something over her cries, but she couldn't tell and didn't care what it was.

After a moment Felix tried to take her, sending her into even more of a panic and making her cry harder. She didn't want to be taken away!

She felt herself being handed back, but it did nothing to stop her desperate sobs.

But then Ralph surprised her.

She felt him start to rock gently back and forth, back and forth, humming an unfamiliar yet comforting melody.

After a minute of this she stopped crying to look up at him, to meet those kind, warm eyes that'd shown her more care in this short time than anyone else _ever_ had.

She gradually calmed throughout the song, and by the end Vanny was content and sleepy again, rubbing her damp eyes, not even trying to fight her exhaustion.

She snuggled instinctively into his chest, her favorite place in the world, she'd decided, where she could hear his rhythmic heartbeat provide a lullaby all its own.

Before she could even register it she'd nodded off, her eyes fluttering gently closed, completely content for the first time in her life.

* * *

**So there you have it, chapter one redone! **

**This was fun to do, but it was really time consuming to basically repeat the chapter, so this definitely won't be a thing I do for every chapter heh **

**It was interesting though!**

**Enough of me though, I want your opinion! Would you want to see more of these kinds of POV switches?**


	3. Chapter 2

**Me: I'm gonna have a consistent upload schedule for all my fics from now on! No more needless procrastinating! There's no reason you shouldn't be able to upload weekly!**

**Me: Does the exact opposite**

**Ngl this has been sitting here for like a month now I just didn't wanna publish it bc I don't like it tbh :T I've tried to like it and I've tried to fix it but I just. Don't? And idk _why _exactly- I liked it at first, but now I just- ugh I don't know**

**I sense a trend with _Chapter 2's _and me- we don't get along. They're such an awkward transition chapter as you go from the beginning to the where the actual story starts.**

**I have a very love-hate relationship with second chapters, if you couldn't tell, but luckily this is the last kinda linear chapter- the rest are more like one-shots and drabbles (and I actually like them so I hope you will too!)**

* * *

V woke up.

Not to the sound of shouting, or of something breaking like usual, but it was almost as scary.

She woke up to complete darkness and silence.

V didn't like the dark. V didn't like silence either. It meant something was _wrong_.

She couldn't yet place a name to the terrible yet familiar feeling bubbling up inside her.

It was _panic._

But one feeling she could place a name to was hunger, and she quickly identified it as her stomach growled insistently at her.

Suddenly a loud snore came from the darkness, making the poor girl jump.

She peered out, her eyes adjusting to see the large lump on the bed next to her.

Then she remembered. She wasn't at her old home, this was _Ralph's_ house!

She smiled, the bad feeling starting to ease just knowing that he was near.

She still couldn't see him very well, but she tried to make grabby hands at him.

He must not have seen her. She frowned.

After a few minutes of trying to get his attention, the little girl was becoming frustrated. Why wasn't he paying attention?! She _needed_ him!

She pleaded, whining a little. She tried to reach out again but found she still couldn't get to him.

She felt trapped. She was hungry and scared and it was too dark and the only person she trusted didn't notice her.

Her eyes began to water with frustrated and fearful tears.

* * *

Being awoken by a wailing baby was the most alarming wake-up call Ralph had ever gotten.

He looked over at the clock and _groaned. _It was the _middle of the night._

Like any teenager, Ralph didn't like his sleep being messed with, but he felt a pang of sympathy as he heard the kid's miserable cries. He didn't know her very well yet, but he figured she wouldn't cry like that unless something was wrong.

"Wha's wrong kid?" he asked groggily, picking her up gingerly.

Once she was in his arms, V calmed down substantially, half of what she wanted being fulfilled. But she was still fussy, and she squirmed in Ralph's arms.

Ralph thought about calling Felix but decided not to. He didn't want to bother his friend in the middle of the night, he'd already done enough for them. Plus he wanted to figure this out on his own.

"Are you hungry?" he asked her.

Yeah, he figured that was it. She was tiny, and it _had_ been a while since she'd been fed last.

"Ok," he said as he plodded into the tiny kitchen, then paused.

"How do we make a bottle again?"

Ralph soon found he didn't have the patience to remember how to prepare a bottle one-handed while bouncing a whiny baby in the other arm to keep her calm _and_ trying to stay awake the whole time.

"We need Felix," he said, defeated.

V didn't have the patience either. She was hungry _now!_

She whined loudly.

* * *

Felix's phone rang, startling him out of a deep sleep. He scowled at it for a moment, he had been having a good dream.

His sour expression quickly vanished, however, when he saw who it was.

_Ralph._

He quickly answered.

"Ralph?! Wha's wrong, 's e'rythin' ok?" he sounded groggy and anxious at the same time and Ralph had to stifle a slight chuckle.

"Yeah, everything's ok, I just can't remember how to make a bottle. And this kid's really whiny and I can't concentrate and- maybe things aren't so ok," he groaned.

Felix couldn't see him, but he could tell Ralph was pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

"Oh, ok Ralph, no problem, it's easy," he said, hoping to calm his friend's frustrations.

He led him through the process again.

This was _agonizingly_ slow. V couldn't _take_ it anymore. She was _tired_ and _hungry_, and soon her fussing gave way to more frustrated tears.

_Probably should've made a couple bottles for him ahead of time,_ Felix thought, his heart sinking at hearing the poor baby start to cry, but he couldn't very well change the past. They were both just tired, it probably seemed worse than it really was. It'd be good for Ralph to learn how to handle things like this himself anyway. It probably wouldn't be the first time this happened.

After a few more seconds of chaos on the other end, V's crying suddenly stopped, and Felix knew that Ralph had done it-all by himself. He heard an audible sigh from his friend.

"You did it!"

"I did it," Ralph repeated, sounding relieved, "Thanks Felix."

"No problem. You guys gonna be ok?"

"Yeah, I'll let ya go. Sorry about that."

"It's no problem Ralph, I'm glad I could help. G'night guys," he yawned before hanging up.

* * *

_Finally!_

The cranky girl drank hungrily as Ralph awkwardly plopped them both on the couch. She didn't realize how fast she'd really been drinking though until- _hic!_

_Uh oh._

Ralph was slightly concerned that V was drinking too fast, but he didn't know how to make her slow down. It almost seemed like she didn't know when her next meal would be.

She had almost finished the whole bottle when- _hic!_

_Oh no._

Felix groaned despite himself when he heard the phone ring. He knew his friend needed help but he was _just_ starting to doze!

"Ralph?"

"Uh, yeah, hey sorry to bother you again, but what do I do for- _hic!_"

Hiccups.

Felix rubbed his temple trying to rack his sleepy brain for the solution. He _knew_ how to stop hiccups, he just had to remember.

"Ok, have you burped her?"

"No."

"Try that."

He tried patting her back as gently as he could, and after a minute V let out a burp, thankfully without anything- extra.

All three waited for a second, before- _hic!_

All three groaned.

This was just a frustrating night- the kid couldn't seem to catch a break. She whined.

"Ok, ok, I think there's a pacifier somewhere with all that stuff. That might help."

"A what? Oh, wait I know what you're talking about!"

Felix heard him rifling around in the diaper bag.

"Found it. Ok kid, you want this?" he said, offering the soother to her.

Her eyes lit up.

"Nummy- _hic!_" she cooed, reaching for it. She hadn't seen that in _forever_!

"Uh, ok then."

Almost instantly, her frustration started to fade away. She'd forgotten how much she loved her nummy. King didn't like it though, so one day it went bye-bye. She never managed to find it, no matter where she looked. She'd missed it _so_ much.

She became so distracted by being reunited with her lost comfort item that she didn't even notice when the hiccups stopped. But the teens did.

"I think it worked. And I think she really likes that- that nummy thing." Ralph remarked.

"Good. I'm glad." Felix was trying to stay present, but he was practically falling asleep on the spot.

Ralph realized this and let him go after saying their goodbyes again.

"I think we'd better head back to bed too, huh kid?" he asked.

An already half asleep V only snuggled into his shoulder.

She didn't fuss this time when he laid her down, which he was grateful for. He didn't think he could handle that whole ordeal again.

He figured the "nummy," or whatever she'd called it had something to do with her complacence, and though he didn't really get what it was for, he was thankful for it nonetheless.

Ralph flopped back into bed and was asleep almost instantly.

V rolled over onto her tummy.

She couldn't remember the last time she was so happy. She was full, she was warm, she had her nummy, and she felt safe with Ralph near.

Finally content, the tiny girl let her eyes flutter gently closed again.


	4. Chapter 3

**Ha I lied, Chapter 2 was not the last linear chapter. **

**My dumb self can never seem to decide what to do with a story, and this one is exceedingly confusing, especially since it looks like you guys like it more than I expected.**

**So yeah, uh thanks for reading, I hope you like it!**

* * *

"Parenting is _hard."_ an exhausted Ralph lamented to Felix one day.

Of course he loved little Vanny as soon as they met that fateful night, and he knew being a father wouldn't be a piece of cake, but it didn't take long for him to realize just _how_ difficult taking care of a baby really was.

While she was very sweet and happy most of the time, like all babies she could be very demanding and fussy as well.

But unlike other kids, her background had been a lot rougher, and thus she needed a bit more attention and care.

Hence why she was often perceived as being "too much" by people who didn't understand her.

At first Ralph couldn't see why she had such a reputation, Vanny was the happiest kid he knew. She smiled and giggled and played, and when she did get upset there was a reason, and once he figured it out she was easy to calm down.

But soon the more difficult aspects of caring for her became apparent, and he started to see where that _too much-ness_ factored in.

For one thing, Ralph didn't think he'd ever used his washing machine so much. He'd become Vanny's napkin, tissue, spit rag, and to his chagrin, even her potty a few times. But that was pretty much just normal kid stuff, minor annoyances that weren't really her fault.

But when Vanny's mood changed, almost at the drop of a hat, _that _was when she became too much.

Like when she got hungry. Of course Ralph understood this, he got "hangry" too sometimes.

But she went beyond that- in the span of just a few minutes she could go from just being mildly cranky to a full-on wailing fit, almost as if she actually thought Ralph wasn't going to feed her at all.

And once he did, she ate so fast it was like she didn't know when her next meal would be, which again, considering her past, Ralph couldn't really blame her.

Though of course this caused problems of it's own, and she usually ended up spitting some of her meal back up (usually on either him or herself, missing any attempt Ralph made of using the rag entirely) or giving herself a tummyache.

It also became incredibly obvious early on that the little girl was touch-starved.

Of course, all babies were clingy sometimes, but Vanny _always_ wanted to be attached to either Ralph or Felix. And even then she sometimes got touchy about it- some days she _only_ wanted Ralph.

Vanny seemed especially nervous around strangers. While of course this was also common, after a while most children stopped being scared of new people. But she never seemed to warm up to anyone. It was like she thought they were going to take her.

Again though Ralph found he couldn't blame her.

If he'd been a baby passed around to different foster homes and neglected for his whole life, only to be abandoned in an alley, he'd probably be skeptical of strangers too.

The worst battle by far though was getting her to go to bed.

Ralph had been under the impression that babies slept a lot.

But Vanny didn't.

She didn't like being alone and how dark the bedroom was and that she couldn't be close to Ralph. But Ralph didn't like the idea of not sleeping and trying to get through school as an exhausted zombie. So the two stubborn and tired kids found themselves at odds every night, and both soon learned to dread the daily struggle that ensued.

He just couldn't win. The kid was too smart.

While Vanny loved bathtime, before long she started to realize that bedtime came after, so she'd start fighting early on.

Thus the battle of the wills began, often lasting late into the night, and leading to both of them being in terrible moods the next day.

Even when she couldn't stay awake any longer, _finally _giving in to sleep, Ralph learned that it still wasn't over.

Vanny still woke up throughout the night, some nights from hunger, sometimes because she just wanted to be held and reassured that he was still there, and sometimes just for kicks, it seemed.

But he'd take all of those over the _other _nights.

Nights when Vanny would tremble violently and wail at the top of her little lungs. When she sounded so desperate and miserable it seemed like she was in _pain_. Ralph would check all over to make sure she hadn't hurt herself somehow, but he'd never find anything.

The tiny girl clung to his shirt as if he'd disappear if she let go and it took a long time to soothe her, and even longer to get her back to sleep.

Ralph was still very new to parenting, but he knew that _this_ wasn't normal.

Felix confirmed as much, looking very worried as a noticeably-more-tired-than-usual Ralph described these frequent late night episodes one day after school, the day after one had happened.

Felix remarked that it sounded almost like Vanny was having nightmares. Ralph looked at his friend incredulously.

While he was _very_ familiar with nightmares and how traumatic they could be, he hadn't known that someone as little as Vanny could have them. She was only a baby!

But then things started to click.

Ralph remembered that when he would have nightmares, he wouldn't want to go to bed the next night. It was the fear of not knowing whether you were going to have another one or not. It must be much scarier to little Vanny, she didn't even understand what was happening. Now it made sense why she fought sleep so fiercely.

He thought of how little he knew about her life before he'd found her.

_What happened to her to make her have _nightmares_?!_ _She can't even talk yet! _Ralph's temper flared.

Felix noticed his friend's rising anger and tried to de-escalate it.

"What can I _do_? I didn't even know what to do about _my _nightmares," Ralph said helplessly after a moment.

"You don't have to _do _anything. Just be there for her. Vanny knows you love her, she knows _you'd_ never hurt her. It's not you she's scared of, it's- whatever happened to her before you came along. But she's really little, and eventually those bad memories will be replaced with good ones as she grows up and the nightmares will go away on their own." Felix offered optimistically.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I just- I wish I could make them go away _now_, y'know?"

"I know, I do too. Maybe you could..." Felix wracked his brain for ideas, "-Oh! You know what might help? You could try giving Vanny a lovey!"

Ralph looked at him.

"A what?"

"Y'know, like a security blanket or maybe a plushie, something she could sleep with that'd remind her of you and chase her bad dreams away!"

"Oh yeah, I get it." Ralph mulled the idea over.

"I think I have an idea! Maybe you could give her one of your shirts! It'd practically be like a blanket with how big they are, and what could remind her of you more than something you've actually worn? I think she'll love it!"

"Huh. That's actually a pretty good idea. You really think it'll work?"

"Well I sure hope it does."

* * *

Upon getting to Ralph's apartment the two were greeted by a huge mess, a very fussy Vanny, and an equally frazzled babysitter.

Upon seeing the teens both of them lit up, the older woman quickly passing the baby off to Ralph and hurriedly making her escape.

Ralph sighed.

There went _another_ sitter. That was the third one that had been scared off, and Ralph had barely had Van for a month! He knew she was wary of strangers, and got really upset when he left, and she _could_ be a handful, but she wasn't a bad kid, he didn't know what she did to run them all away like that.

Once she was in Ralph's arms Vanny was the happy little girl he knew, and she cooed and babbled, telling him all about her day and how much she missed him. He wiped the tears remaining in her eyes with his finger and nuzzled her little nose with his own.

"Yeah, I missed you too kid." She snuggled contentedly into his chest, her favorite place in the world.

"Now let's find her a shirt so we can test your little theory before I go to work." Ralph declared, already making his way to the bedroom.

He handed Vanny to Felix and started rifling through the drawers.

"So, just a t-shirt? I don't wanna give her one with buttons or strings or anything. Knowing Van she'd try to eat them," he playfully glared at her.

"Yeah," Felix laughed, "that should be fine, as long as it reminds her of you."

"Well I mean it's _my_ shirt. How could it _not_ remind her of me?"

Meanwhile, Vanny had no idea what they were doing and gave a look that mirrored Ralph's from earlier.

Felix laughed. They weren't related, but it sure seemed like it sometimes.

After a few minutes Ralph seemed to find a shirt he deemed suitable, one he didn't wear often anymore that he wouldn't mind getting milk, drool, spit-up, dirt, food, and whatever else the baby girl could get on it.

He offered it to Vanny, to which she only tilted her head.

"I don't think she understands what it's for yet," Felix gave a slight laugh.

Ralph gave it to her, but after a few seconds she just dropped it. He frowned thoughtfully.

"It's ok Ralph. Nelly's a clever girl, she'll figure it out on her own, probably while you're at work- which you're gonna be late for if you don't leave _now!_" Felix said, urgency in his voice, as he looked at his watch.

"Jeez, really?! I _just_ got back!" Ralph yelped, quickly changing into his work clothes and heading for the door.

Vanny knew what this meant and gave a loud whine. He _just _got back!

Ralph knew what _this _meant, and he took his kid from Felix, snuggling her and giving her a little kiss on the forehead, ruffling her soft raven hair before starting to make his exit. He always tried to make this part quick because neither of them liked when Ralph had to leave. Even though it happened every day, multiple times a day, it never got any easier for either of them. He always felt like he was abandoning her, especially because she was so happy when he came home.

Nobody had ever been so happy to see him. And so sad to see him leave.

Vanny stared at the door for a minute after it'd closed, as if hoping Ralph would just come back if she wanted it badly enough.

_What if he never comes back?_

Hazel eyes filled with tears and her lip started to quiver. Felix tried to calm her, bouncing her a little and telling her that it was okay, Ralph would be back just like always.

But it didn't work. It never worked, and Felix's heart hurt as the tiny girl held her hands up, doing grabby hands at the door in a last ditch effort. That always worked, Ralph couldn't resist grabby hands!

But they were no use. Resigned, a heartbroken Vanny did the only other thing she knew to do, and began to cry desperately for her papa.

Felix looked at her sadly. _Poor baby._

But then he remembered! He rushed to the bedroom, retrieving Ralph's shirt from where she'd left it on the floor.

He made sure it hadn't gotten dirty before putting it in Vanny's hands, which were still reaching out as if she'd somehow be able to reach Ralph.

Feeling something in her hands, she gave pause, calming down just enough to look at the shirt for a moment, then up at Felix, still confused as to what to do with it, before dropping it and starting to wail again.

He didn't give up though. Picking it back up, he rubbed the soft material against her face, distracting her again.

"Look baby, look. You want your lovey?"

Looking at him incredulously even in her distressed state, the little girl still didn't quite seem to get it. But realization lit up in her eyes a moment later.

It was _Ralph_. Her papa, her hero, this felt like _him_. It smelled and felt like her favorite person in the whole world, comforting and familiar, and Vanny soon found herself taking the shirt from Felix, relaxing as she snuggled into it. It was like he was there even though he was gone.

Felix was amazed. It usually took him _forever_ to soothe Vanny when Ralph left for work, but the shirt had comforted her immediately.

Heading back to the living room, Felix noticed a note on the counter.

_Wow_, he thought, chuckling slightly, _the poor lady actually wrote a note before she fled the scene._

Looking it over, he saw that it'd been the usual- Vanny wouldn't nap or eat, and was generally very fussy all day.

_Probably because she was tired and hungry, _he thought, rolling his eyes.

But he was used to this, he knew Vanny didn't handle it well if anyone other than the teens was caring for her.

It was weird though. She'd _never_ been known to turn down food, she always seemed to be hungry. In fact they'd taken to calling her piglet for her constant appetite. He couldn't imagine the little girl outright _refusing_ to eat.

He hoped her anxiety would ease a little since she took to the shirt so well, and she'd be a little more cooperative.

Speaking of which, Felix's attention was taken away from the note when Vanny let out a tiny yawn. She rubbed her eyes, giving him a sleepy little smile.

"I think someone's ready for a nap," he cooed, to which the little girl responded by cuddling into his chest.

Making his way to the couch he sat down, grabbing the TV remote and starting to flip through to find something to watch in the downtime while Vanny napped. She made herself comfortable, shifting onto her tummy, the shirt still clutched tightly in her little arms.

They settled in and within minutes she was sound asleep, burrowed into Ralph's shirt.

_This is just a day of records_, Felix thought, _I should've thought of this sooner._

"Goodnight, Vanny," he kissed her feathery hair and found an old sitcom to watch, soaking in the peaceful break in his usually chaotic day. Feeling the warm weight of the baby girl on his chest and her gentle, even breathing, along with the white noise of the TV relaxed him, and the teenager eventually fell asleep too.

* * *

The first thing Vanny groggily realized upon waking up was that she was _hungry._

Of course, her thoughts weren't developed to the point that she could think in sentences yet, but she could identify her feelings, and they told her that she needed food. _Soon_. She started to fidget.

She needed Felix.

* * *

A loud whine and a tug on his shirt roused Felix from his little nap. He didn't even realize he'd fallen asleep.

"Hey baby," he smiled sleepily at the toddler as he started to wake up.

She only squirmed in discomfort and gave another little whimper in response. Evidently Vanny hadn't woken in the best mood.

"Mmkay Nelly, I hear ya," he stretched as he stood up, to which he only received some impatient babble, which he assumed was her telling him to get a move on.

"Alright, alright, I know. Let's make some dinner, you must be starving, huh? I still can't believe my little piglet doesn't eat when other people are here. You have a nickname to live up to, y'know!" he said, poking her tummy and making her giggle, "There's my girl!" He didn't think he could ever get tired of hearing that sweet laugh.

Truth be told, Vanny _had_ lived up to her nickname, having gained a bit of pudge in the short time the kids had been caring for her, which was good for all of them. She wasn't worryingly skinny anymore, which meant she was happier, which meant Ralph and Felix were happier too.

Felix set Vanny in her high chair and mulled over the dinner options.

However piglet definitely wasn't known for being patient when she was hangry, and made her opinions known.

"Ok ok, I know, but all this stuff takes time to make sweetie."

After receiving a whine in response, he knew she wouldn't make it long enough to prepare anything, and just gave her a bottle, which seemed to satisfy her for the time being.

Finally deciding a few minutes later, he started to warm the jar before she needed his attention again. She was done, and reached up to him.

"See, you do live up to your nickname!" he laughed as he picked her up, gently patting her back until she burped.

"There. Feel better?" he sat her down again and she started talking to him. Sometimes Felix liked to imagine what she was trying to say.

_I'd feel a lot better if I could have the rest of my dinner!_

He laughed, "Just a couple more minutes baby."

Once the food was ready he set it in front of her along with a tiny spoon and let her have at it. She needed a bath anyway, so why not let her get as messy as she wanted beforehand?

"There you go princess," he said before turning back around to find a snack of his own.

Jeez, she really took his offer and ran with it. In just the couple minutes he hadn't been paying attention to her, Vanny had gotten herself _covered_ head to toe in baby food. Felix just laughed.

"Did any actually make it into your mouth?" he asked, to which she only smiled innocently.

_Nope!_ he figured she said.

"Very pleased with yourself, aren't you?"

A giggle. _Yep!_

A few minutes later, during which he made sure she ate at least a little, it was definitely time for a bath.

"Time to get you all cleaned up missy."

He started the faucet, checking the temperature before setting Vanny in the warm water.

"Hi Vanny, it's me, Mr. Ducky!" Felix said in his best Donald Duck impression (which wasn't very good but the little girl loved it). She smiled her sweet crooked smile as he squeaked the toy, making Felix grin at just how cute she was.

"Oooh, you've brought me dinner!" the duck chirped, "eating" the food off her as Felix rinsed it away. "Oooh, yummy, thank you!" Vanny giggled.

Felix handed her the ducky, hiding what he was doing behind the side of the tub before saying, still in Mr. Ducky's voice, "Wow, I sure hope we don't see those _sea monsters_ again!"

At that Vanny's smile vanished and she let go of her toy, realizing what he'd been doing. As she slowly inched back as if she could escape the most vicious monsters of the deep, Felix lunged, the "sea monsters" (which were really just crude sock puppets) mercilessly attacking the little girl's very ticklish sides and tummy.

She shrieked, going into a fit of giggles and splashing everywhere. By the time Felix had rescued the tiny girl from the beasts, he, along with the whole bathroom, were soaked. But they had won the battle. The day was saved, and the rest of bathtime was free from monster attacks.

Felix picked Vanny up out of the bath despite her protests, wrapping her up in her favorite fluffy towel.

After drying himself off, he got her dressed in her footie pajamas and they both went back to the living room.

After a while, Vanny looked at the door expectantly.

"You're a smart girl, Vanny. You know when Ralph's coming home don't you?" Felix chuckled.

"Papa?"

"Yes baby, papa's coming home soon."

They played together for a while before they heard the sound of a key in the door.

At hearing the familiar sound, Vanny tried to stand up, grabbing the side of the couch for support before losing her balance and realizing that she wasn't too steady on her feet, opting for the much faster option of crawling to the door.

As soon as Ralph opened the door, he heard a yelp of "Papa!" and felt something attach itself to his leg.

This would have surprised him if he wasn't used to these ambush greetings by now.

"Hey kid!" he swept the tiny girl into his arms, "I missed you!" he laughed, holding her up over his head and bringing her down to nuzzle her nose in their now familiar ritual.

She babbled through her giggles and Felix smiled as he imagined her saying, _I missed you more!_

The three hung out for a while longer before Vanny started to rub her eyes, holding her arms out to be picked up.

"I think it's time for bed." Ralph said, holding his kid close. He had a feeling their days of battling were finally over.

Felix took this as his time to go.

"You gonna be ok buddy?" he asked.

"Y'know, for once I think we're good, Felix. I think maybe we'll actually get some sleep tonight, what do you think kid?" to which Vanny yawned.

"Well I'm glad," he replied, gathering his things.

"Goodnight Vanny," he cooed,giving her a little peck on the forehead, and Ralph thanked him as he headed out the door.

"See you guys tomorrow!" he waved, and both tired kids waved back.

* * *

"Did you have fun with Felix?" Ralph asked his baby, who sleepily babbled her reply.

"Yeah, I bet you did," he chuckled.

"Well I'm beat," he said, setting her on the floor so he could get himself ready for bed.

"I'll just be gone for a second kid, I'll be back before ya know it," he reassured when she protested.

Now Vanny was alone, without even a nervous housewife to keep her company. She whimpered, her own home seeming big and scary when no one else was around.

But then she remembered her lovey! Right on the couch where she'd left it.

She held the shirt close, and found she didn't feel so bad now.

A minute later Ralph returned, but Van wasn't where he'd left her.

"Kid? Where'd you go- oh." he smiled when he found her.

"So you figured out what it was for, huh?" he got a yawn in response, "Well I'm glad you like it."

Bedtime was actually calm tonight, to Ralph's relief. Without the battle to the death he could actually enjoy cuddling Vanny for a little bit. She curled up in the shirt, wrapping herself up like it was a blanket, falling asleep almost instantly. He brushed her hair back before gently laying her down, and surprisingly she barely stirred. He turned her night light on and backed out of the room as quietly as he could.

He fist pumped in triumph outside the door. _He'd done it!_

The rest of his night was boring, but compared with the exhausting battles that had dominated his evenings for the past month, it was a welcome change. He made himself dinner, did his homework, and took a shower before watching TV for a little while and heading to bed himself.

As he heard the soft, peaceful breaths of the baby next to him, Ralph thought about how much his life had changed in such a short time.

He had someone who needed and wanted him now, who made it hard to leave every day. His apartment was now warm and lively, it was finally a _home_, and he wasn't lonely anymore. He had his best friend to support him and Vanny was happy and well taken care of.

Things were looking up for both of them, and the two of them had the best sleep they'd had in months.

* * *

Until they woke up.

Ralph bolted up out of bed, picking Vanny up instantly. She held on to him like her life depended on it, her teeny tiny frame shaking with her screams.

_She had a nightmare._

Almost used to this by now, Ralph started to gently rock her, knowing she wouldn't be able to hear anything he said over her hysteria.

_"Just be there for her." _he remembered Felix's advice.

And after a few agonizingly long minutes of helplessly listening to Vanny's terrified cries, _just being there _began to work. She finally started to come to, and looked at him with heart-breakingly fearful eyes.

"It's ok Vanny," he soothed, "you're alright. It was just a dream. Nothing's gonna hurt you ever again, I promise."

And he could see in her eyes that she understood him. She believed him. She trusted him.

But when Ralph leaned over her crib she whimpered, tightening her grip on him even more if that was possible. She wasn't ready to go back to bed, she was scared.

"Hey, it's ok, look. I'm not putting you down, I was just getting this, see?" he held something out for her.

Oh. The shirt.

She gave the smallest semblance of a smile as she took it, and he smiled back. She was starting to get back to being herself again.

After a little while, with both of them soaking in the peace after such a nerve-wracking night, the two yawned at the same time, though Vanny seemed to be trying to keep herself awake.

But Ralph knew just what she needed, and even though he was exhausted, he started to sing his lullaby to his kid.

Vanny was _his_ kid. He still couldn't quite grasp that, and was amazed every time he remembered it. He looked into her eyes, eyes that held so much love and trust for him, despite all she'd been through, and he realized he didn't love _anything_ as much as that little girl. He could listen to her little laugh all day, and he'd give her the sun and moon and stars if it meant she'd never have to cry or be sad or have another nightmare ever again.

It was all so sappy he wanted to roll his eyes, but it was true.

Vanny watched him for a minute more before she let her eyes slowly flutter closed.

He gave her a little kiss before laying her down again.

He realized in his half-asleep state that Vanny was as much a comfort to him as he was to her. After all, her soft breathing and little snores and sleepy coos were the last sounds he heard before falling asleep, and when he awoke in the night, the first thing he did was look for her. Maybe she had unknowingly created a lullaby of her own, just for him, he thought sleepily, as he let the melody of his mother's song still in his mind and the gentle breaths of _his_ kid lull him to sleep.

* * *

**Hyeh did you spot my terrible irrelevant Vine reference in there? ;)**

**If you read this to the end you have my eternal respect lol**

**I really don't know how this one ended up being so long**


	5. Chapter 4

**Ahh, this took forever!**

**Things have been kinda hectic lately irl and I've been having a bit of a writer's block, so apologies for the months-late update!**

**In all honestly this chapter in particular has been done for a while now- I was just having a really tough time figuring out how to end it, as I often do. **

**But I'm pretty satisfied with it now, and hope you are too!**

**So thanks for reading, and I'd love if you shared your thoughts about it with me!**

* * *

The library phone rang.

"Ty dear, it's for you. It's Ralph," the librarian, Ms. Khatri whispered to Turbo.

"Ah, thanks Ms. K," he said as he made his way to the office.

He really appreciated Ms. K (or Jude, as she insisted he call her. "Ms. makes me sound so old," she'd always laugh). She had known Ty since he was a little kid, and even though they weren't really supposed to take personal calls on the library phones, she always made an exception for him.

"Ralph! Where've ya been? I haven't heard from you in _forever!"_ he said, drawing the word out melodramatically.

Ralph only chuckled on the other end, "Well, I've been a bit busy," he said sheepishly. "I know I should've called earlier, but-"

Turbo cut his best friend off, _"__Busy?!_ You're never busy," he laughed, "what could you be so "busy" with that you forgot about your best friend for _two weeks?!"_ he feigned offense.

"I have a baby." Ralph deadpanned.

Well _that_ caught Turbo off guard.

"You _what?!"_ he yelped in disbelief, forgetting he was in a library for a second. Jude popped into the doorway, concerned, and he gave her an apologetic look.

Ralph sighed. _"I have a baby."_

"No, I _heard_ you, doofus. I just-" he lowered his voice to a whisper, "Ralph, what'd you _do?"_

He could practically _see_ Ralph's face go beet red on the other end of the line as he stammered.

"Wha- n-no! I- I _found_ her!"

Turbo was unconvinced.

"Mmmhhm, sure. You just _found_ a baby lyin' around."

"Yes, actually, I did." he replied, his tone serious.

"Ralph, you've gotta be kidding me."

"I wish I was kidding you. Her name is Vanellope, and Felix has been helping me out with her."

"Ok, now I _know_ you're not kidding, you'd never be able to come up with a name as crazy as that. That's not even a name." he said incredulously.

"I know, it's weird. But Felix has helped me pull some strings, and she's staying with me now. We can still hang out and stuff, I've just been trying to get my bearings these past couple weeks. I promise we'll start gaming again-"

He was cut off when his best friend hung up.

Ralph looked at the phone for a moment.

"He hung up, didn't he?" Felix asked from the kitchen, not looking up from the cutting board.

"Yeah."

Ralph sulked a little, "I knew he wouldn't take it _well,_ but I didn't think he'd just hang up on me. I mean, if I had to choose between them, of course I'd choose Vanny, she needs me, but-"

"You know how he is," Felix rolled his eyes, "he'll come around eventually."

"Yeah, you're right." Ralph agreed, trying to turn his attention to his homework and ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.

* * *

Turbo _did_ come around though- sooner than they'd thought.

There was a knock on the door.

All three inhabitants looked up from what they were doing, the teenagers sharing a questioning glance. Ralph never got visitors, other than Felix of course.

On opening the door, Ralph stared at his guest in surprise for a moment.

It was _Turbo,_ panting slightly, as if he'd run all the way from the library, and giving him an impatient glare.

"Well, aren't you gonna let me in? I gotta see this brat of yours." there was that familiar mischievous glint in his eye, "Or will I be a bad influence on her?"

Ralph rolled his eyes with a smirk and let his friend in.

Felix looked up in surprise for a moment before giving his cousin a knowing smile that made Ty scowl.

"Where is the kid anyway?"

"Right there, can't you see?" Ralph scoffed, gesturing down to the floor.

"Oh," was the only response, as golden eyes met a pair of hazel ones.

_This was Ralph's brat._

She was _adorable, _which showed she definitely couldn't be related to Ralph, he thought with a smirk. This coming from Ty, who was about as far from being a kid person as you could get, was high praise. She had feathery black hair that curled up at the ends, and a little teal bow in her hair (no doubt Felix's doing) and wide bright eyes and she was _so tiny._ She had to be the smallest person the teen had ever seen. How was that even possible?

_Oh no._

Ralph looked back, having not heard anything snarky from his friend in a while, only to find him staring at his kid in- awe? Ralph didn't think he'd ever seen that expression on Turbo.

Felix smiled, knowing exactly what was going on. He was absolutely smitten with Vanny.

"H-hey, kiddo," he said, carefully inching closer to her, as if she'd break if he approached too quickly.

As expected, Vanny got increasingly more fidgety at the presence of the stranger until she whined, holding her tiny arms up for Ralph to "rescue" her.

While he knew she'd react this way, Van was always wary of strangers, he didn't think Ty would take it well. But to his surprise, the younger teen seemed to become even more careful, slowly standing to meet her eyes again.

"Hey, it's ok kid, I'm not gonna hurt you," he said in the softest voice Ralph had ever heard him use. Turbo had _never_ spoken that softly before, he didn't know what an inside voice was. Ralph was dumbfounded.

"I'm your dad's best friend," he glanced up at Ralph with a slight smirk, "so I guess that _kinda_ makes me your uncle. Only if ya want, of course." he held out his hand to her.

Vanny looked at him for a moment before deciding that if he was a friend of her papa's he must be safe, smiling as she took his hand, and they "shook on it."

Then she did something Ralph had never seen before. She reached out for him_._ She'd never warmed up to anyone that fast, not even Felix. The younger teen grinned as he took her, bouncing her slightly, and Ralph went back to working on his homework.

"So, _you're_ what Ralph's been busy with for the past two weeks. I hope you've been keeping him on his toes."

Ralph and Felix laughed. She'd been keeping _both_ of them on their toes. And now she had Ty wrapped around her little finger too. Vanny laughed.

"So, _Vanellope_, huh? What kinda name is that?"

She babbled and Felix gave a silent laugh as he imagined her answer, "I don't know, _I_ didn't choose it!"

"Jeez, I want whatever your parents were on," he chuckled.

"Ty!" Felix chastised.

* * *

"Ralph!" he said suddenly after a couple minutes, slightly startling the baby in his arms, "Ah, sorry kid. We gotta show her our games, Ralph! Gotta start 'er off young!"

Ralph laughed again. "Maybe she can show _me_ a thing or two, I haven't played at all since I found her! I'm probably so rusty _you_ could even beat me!"

"Ha ha," he smirked, rolling his eyes.

* * *

After a few minutes Ty spoke up again, "Hey, does she have any nicknames? Vanellope is a really long name for someone so small, and it takes a _looong_ time to say." he smiled as the baby giggled at his exaggerated tone.

"Yeah, I call her Vanny or Van or kid, and Felix calls her a bunch of lovey dovey stuff like sweetie and honey and angel, y'know _mom_ nicknames. I really only use her full name when she's in trouble, which is more often than you'd think considering how cute and _innocent_ looking she is. But you can pretty much call her whatever, I don't think she really cares. Oh- and we also call her piglet."

"Why do you call her that?"

"You'll see at dinner time," Felix laughed.

"Cool, what's for dinner?" the youngest teen asked as they (he) walked over to the kitchen to look at what Felix was cooking.

"Jeez, are you makin' a four course meal or somethin'?" Turbo marveled at all of the pots and pans Felix was tending simultaneously.

"No, I'm cooking a _dinner_. You know, most families' dinners consist of more than a cup of ramen and an energy drink." Felix teased his cousin.

Ty rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and most families are bigger than three teenagers and a baby. Van can't even eat any of this."

"Yeah, but Ralph can eat enough for all four of us."

"Hey- I'm right here!"

All three laughed. Vanny didn't know what they were laughing about, but she giggled anyway. Watching other people laugh was kinda funny in itself.

"So when's it gonna be done? I'm _starving!"_ he said, and as if on cue, Vanny's stomach growled.

"And I guess I'm not the only one."

The tiny girl reached for Felix, who took her in his arms, swaying her slightly as he looked through the fridge for something.

After sticking a bottle in the microwave for a moment, he cooed to Vanny, who had started to whine impatiently.

Ty rolled his eyes playfully at his cousin's baby talk.

Once the microwave beeped, he handed the baby back to Turbo and shoved the bottle in his other hand.

"Here, now out of my kitchen!" he laughed, sounding like an overbearing housewife.

"W-wait I don't know how-"

"It's so easy even you can do it," Felix said hurriedly, "all you gotta do is hold the bottle for Vanny, and she does the rest."

Ty shrugged, looking down at the toddler, who was growing more impatient by the second and beginning to fidget.

He sat down, settling her on his lap.

"Hey, kid, I know yer hungry, but don't go eatin' your hands now," he smirked, gently prying her fingers from her mouth and replacing them with the bottle.

It turned out to be just as easy as Felix had said, though Ty really didn't know what he expected, since he'd never fed a baby before.

After a few minutes she was done. Now content, she smiled at her new friend, ready to play again.

However, Felix had forgotten to tell Turbo about one very important aspect of feeding Vanny.

"Heh, I can see why they call you piglet," he chuckled, lifting the little girl up over his head and bouncing her.

Vanny laughed before an odd expression crossed her face.

She gave a little whine, and Ty raised an eyebrow before-

"Woah, _gross!"_ he yelped, looking down at the huge new stain on his shirt. He didn't so much care about the shirt itself as he was grossed out by the spit-up that now adorned it.

He held Vanny at arms' length and she whimpered before Ralph took her, smirking at his friend.

"I take it Felix didn't warn you about that part."

Turbo scowled.

_"No._ He did _not,"_ he whirled around to shoot an accusatory glare at his cousin.

Felix tried to hide the fact that he was laughing behind a pot of- something.

"Oops."

"Ugh," he groaned, holding the shirt away from his chest, "it's _warm."_

His sour expression traveled up to meet the eyes of the little girl, but softened as he saw how genuinely guilty she looked, even though it really wasn't her fault.

He smirked, ruffling her soft hair, "Aw, it's ok Van, no big deal. But could I get a new shirt?" he asked, looking up at his friend.

"Sure," Ralph laughed. He was honestly really surprised at how calm Ty was taking this. He was surprisingly good with Van, and while something like this with any other child would probably wind up with said child being traumatized, he was so oddly calm with her.

Just as Turbo walked into the bedroom, the shirt laying at the foot of the bed caught his eye. Ever the lazy one, he decided to just take that one instead of going through Ralph's drawers.

It was a bit big, as expected, but it'd do.

When he walked back out, practically throwing himself onto the couch, Vanny, who'd since returned to her toys scattered around the floor, looked up at him, her eyes growing wide and her smile vanishing.

He smiled, "Hey kid, I'm back. Sorry for freaking out a bit on ya there."

But Vanny didn't smile back.

She pulled herself into a standing position, tugging on Ty's new shirt.

"What're you-" he looked at her quizzically, and after a moment she looked back. The kid looked at him like he'd betrayed her.

He couldn't have scared her that bad, could he? He didn't think his little outburst warranted such a hurt look.

"Kid, that's annoying, what're you-" he pulled the shirt out of her grip, making her lose her balance.

From the floor she looked up at him again and- were those _tears_ in her eyes?!

Ty didn't know what he'd done, and he certainly didn't know how to stop her from-

He was startled from his thoughts as the baby started to wail.

"What's wrong kid?!" Ralph and Felix were there in an instant, and the former scooped her up.

He looked at Turbo, about to ask what'd happened, but then paused. It was immediately clear.

He could've laughed if his kid's distressed cries weren't ringing in his ears.

"Turbo, take that shirt off."

"What- why?!"

"Just do it," Ralph said impatiently, "that's what she wants."

Ty didn't know what that meant, but he reluctantly took it off.

Ralph took it and offered it to Vanny, who settled almost immediately, snuggling the beloved shirt close.

Ty was confused.

"Wha-?"

"I probably shoulda' told you that _that_ shirt's her lovey, heh." he said, a hand on his neck.

"Her _what?"_

"Y'know, a lovey- like, uh," he thought for a moment, "oh! Like Captain Noodle-Snoot!"

Felix's face flushed a couple shades.

"We don't talk about Captain Noodle-Snoot!"

Ralph laughed as his normally amiable friend scowled at him.

"Better now?" he asked.

She smiled, then looked tentatively back at Ty.

"C'mere kid," he said, taking her from the older teen. Vanny whined, holding the shirt closer.

"Hey kid, I'm sorry, I didn't know that was your- your lovey," the word felt weird on his tongue.

He lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper only the little girl could hear, "Between you and me, _I_ have a lovey too. He'd never wanna be called that though. He's a snake, and his name is Killer. He's very hardcore, like me." she giggled at him, and he glared jokingly at her.

"What? You don't think I'm hardcore? I'll show you!" he said, tickling the toddler mercilessly.

Vanny's hysterical laughter rang out through the little apartment, making the other teens laugh too.

"Ok, ok you two," Felix interrupted the tickle war, "time for dinner. But-" he laughed, "I think you should put on a shirt first, Ty."

He glared at the older teen. "I _had_ one," he poked Vanny, who laughed again, "actually I had _two."_

"Alright, are there any more _loveys_ I should know about before I go?"

"Nope."

"Good."

He'd almost made it down the hallway without incident- before he stepped on something.

"Ow! What's this?" he yelped.

"Hm? Oh, that's nummy. Thanks, I've been looking for that," Ralph took it from him, offering it to Vanny.

"Lovey, nummy- why do you have to call everything such dumb names? It only took two weeks for both of you to become such mommies."

"That's what Vanny called it."

"How could she name something? She can't even say her own name, it's so stupid long." he took the soother from her teasingly.

"Hey kid, say _Vanellope."_

To her credit, she tried.

"V-v-n-nel-ll-la-a."

He laughed, "My point exactly. How could she name something?"

"Like this. Hey Van, what's this called?" Ralph asked, holding the item in question up for her.

Frustrated at her failed attempt at saying her own name, she smiled now.

"Nummy!" she exclaimed proudly, and he laughed as he put it back in her mouth.

"Nah, Felix probably taught her that." he rolled his eyes.

"Well, it _was_ the middle of the night, and I _was_ trying to keep Felix from falling asleep on me on the other end of the line, but I'm pretty sure that's what she called it when I cured her hiccups."

"What?"

"Doesn't matter," Felix swooped between them to set the table, deftly setting a bowl in front of Vanny and taking nummy away, _again_.

Honestly, she was getting a bit frustrated with everyone taking her stuff tonight.

"Oh don't pout, Nelly. I've got something better," Felix said, offering her a spoonful of _something. _

She highly doubted that, looking skeptically at him. Deciding she didn't particularly feel like eating _whatever _this was, to spice things up a little, she pushed the spoon away.

"Well that's not like you at all, missy. I think _Uncle Turbo's _already becoming a bad influence on you," he playfully glared at the younger teen.

"You tell 'im Van. Fight the man!"

Emboldened, Vanny pushed the bowl, and were it not for Felix's amazingly quick reflexes, all would've been lost.

"But Vivi look! Don't you wanna let the racecar into the tunnel?"

"No, don't fall for it!"

She looked between them, clearly conflicted.

But then Felix started making racecar noises, and her decision was made.

"No!

"Good girl, Nelly. Want some more?" he offered, smirking at his cousin.

"I thought we were friends, Van."

Felix handed her the spoon, and a surprisingly well-aimed spoonful of mush to Turbo's _third _shirt of the day told him otherwise.

Three pairs of eyes went to the girl, who only smiled sweetly up at them.

"I told you, she's deceitfully innocent looking," Ralph shrugged.

"Can I-"

"Yeah." Ralph finished, already knowing what he was going to ask.

"Now you know why I've been so busy." to which Turbo laughed, returning to the table.

Felix, who'd barely sat down, was already on his feet again cleaning everything up.

"Things have gotten pretty crazy around here, huh? Do you- do you think maybe I could help out? I mean, Van's gotta have _someone_ fun in her life, I wouldn't want her to have to be stuck with you two all the time."

Ralph laughed. "Sure, I won't turn down help. Even though you're a- questionable influence on her."

Felix plucked Vanny from her high chair.

"Hey look, I've got your first job!"

He handed her to Ty, an uncharacteristically sly smirk on his face making the latter immediately suspicious.

It didn't take much to figure out why.

Only one sniff in fact.

Nope. Diaper duty was not the kind of help he had in mind.

"Wow, would ya look at the time! I'd better get back to the library! I've got- uh, _homework _to finish- yeah, that's it!" he handed Vanny to Ralph.

"It's been fun, sorry I've gotta go!" he waved before hurrying out, and Vanny waved happily back, seemingly unaware that she was the reason he was in such a rush.

"What a baby," Ralph laughed.

Felix looked at his watch.

"He does know the library's closed, right?"

* * *

**I hope you liked chapter 4!**

**Fun Facts lol: Jude is one of my _many _OC's that'll probably make cameos here, the spit-up incident is partially inspired by a true story lol, and Captain Noodle-Snoot is one of my irl "loveys," in a disturbingly large collection that grows by the day**


	6. Chapter 5- Tammy

**Howdy! Time for another chapter of the AU I didn't think would last this long!**

**Ok this one and the next are the last exposition chapters, then it's on to the fun stuff- the one-shots! I'm really excited for those!**

**But we're not quite there yet, there's just a couple more characters to introduce.**

**And in case you haven't guessed by the title, our favorite hard-core sergeant is making her first appearance- though she's obviously not quite a sergeant yet- and maybe she's not as hard-core as she seems either ;)**

* * *

Felix walked with an extra pep in his step.

He just _couldn't wait_ to introduce his family (well, they were practically family) to his "lady friend," as Ralph called her, practically skipping down the street in his excitement. Tamora smiled at his enthusiasm as they strolled, though she couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed at the odd anxiety gnawing at her at the thought of meeting them.

Well, maybe not _all_ of them. She figured that since Ralph and Ty were friends of Felix's she'd probably like them. And she'd seen them around school, though she'd never actually _met_ them. They didn't look too bad.

But the one she was most nervous to meet, and most ashamed at being nervous about was _Vanny._

She'd heard Felix gush about the little girl countless times, and there was no doubt that he adored her.

But Tamora didn't have a maternal bone in her body. Kids had never liked her much, and she wasn't too fond of them herself.

Felix on the other hand _loved_ little kids. He took care of Vanny almost every day, and it was obvious just from the way he talked that he loved her like she was his own child. Even before she'd come along, Tammy knew he was a total kid-person. Heck, he even had dreams of running a daycare someday.

They seemed to be polar opposites, on very different paths. But Tammy wanted this to work out, she needed it to. She didn't think she cared about anyone as much as Felix. She might even, dare she even think it, _love _him. She was more serious about this than she'd been about anything. And she was a serious person to begin with.

So she _had_ to love Vanny, and Vanny _had_ to love her.

This had to work. She had to make it work, and go against her very nature.

* * *

_Finally, _after a walk that seemed to last forever, they'd finally made it.

Though she'd taken the time to get her nerves under control, Tamora found she was still slightly frazzled as they climbed the stairs to Ralph's small apartment. This was an unwelcome feeling for the teen, who was used to being calm, cool, and collected. Felix was supposed to be the nervous one.

Felix knocked politely, and after a moment Ralph opened the door, a confused look on his face at first until he realized who his company was.

"Felix! _Finally!"_ he exclaimed, "And- Tamora," he said after a moment, calming from his excitement enough to hold a hand out to her in an attempt to be professional.

"We finally meet," he chuckled.

"Uh, yeah," she returned his handshake.

The teen craned her neck. She wasn't used to looking _up_ at anyone like that. Of course she had tall friends, and wasn't exactly short herself, but Ralph had to be the tallest person she'd ever met. He took up the whole doorway, she noticed absently, smirking slightly at the thought of teeny tiny Felix being best friends with this _giant._

"Heh- come in!" he ushered, awkwardly gesturing inside with his huge hands, his attempt at professionalism gone as quickly as it had appeared.

Tamora's smirk grew the littlest bit. She just might like this guy.

As they entered, the other two inhabitants of the little apartment paused from their little game, looking up at the visitors.

A younger teen, who she presumed was Felix's cousin Ty, or Turbo, as she was told his nickname was, was splayed out on the couch, holding the other resident up over his head.

He quickly sat up, clearing his throat awkwardly, and Tamora actually chuckled. He flushed slightly, glowering at her.

Felix laughed.

"Tammy, this is my cousin, Ty." he introduced.

"What's with all the formalities, Felix? Call me Turbo." he casually held out the hand that wasn't holding a tiny person, and she shook it.

"Oh, and this is little Vanellope!" he chirped, grinning as he took the tiny girl from his cousin, "But we usually just call her Vanny, don't we?" he asked her, and she smiled back at him, "She's my niece! Well, kinda," he added.

The baby looked warily at Tamora, and she realized that she was just as scared of Vanny as the toddler was of her.

This didn't wound her pride at all.

"Now I know you're not too fond of little ones, and Nelly doesn't always take well to strangers, but I know you'll just love each other once you get acquainted!"

He started to sit down, but got up quickly after Ralph asked (yelled) for help with a slight setback with dinner (namely that it was on fire).

"Oh boy. Sorry ladies, I think my assistance is required elsewhere if we plan on eating tonight." he quickly left, plopping Vanny on the floor.

Never one to miss out on chaos, Turbo soon followed, leaving the girls alone.

Vanny's bright hazel eyes watched them go before focusing on the stranger, eyeing her with an odd mixture of curiosity and trepidation.

"Jeez kid, you've got quite a stare, huh?" Tam chuckled awkwardly.

The teen soon switched her gaze onto the chaos that had ensued in the kitchen. That looked like fun. But it was certainly no place for a baby, and she'd apparently been put on babysitting duty.

Speaking of which, where was- she looked around. Vanny was nowhere to be seen!

_Where_ could she have possibly gone in the literal seconds she'd been distracted?! The kid could barely even walk yet, but Tamora had managed to completely lose her!

Oh jeez she was screwing this up! She couldn't even watch the kid for five minutes!

Then she felt a tug on her pant leg. She looked down, meeting eyes once again with the baby, who was under the table for some reason. Why, she'd never know, babies were weird.

"There you are!" she sighed, relieved and a bit embarrassed at how flustered she'd gotten.

She scooped the little girl up, earning a surprised little yelp, setting Vanny beside her. Tamora found the slightest smile starting to creep onto her face. This kid wasn't half bad. Sure, she'd given her a scare for a minute there, and she was still a bit wary of the teen, but she was quiet and calm and cute, and dare she say it- Tamora might actually be starting to _like_ the kid.

But then the smoke alarm went off.

Both of them jumped at the sudden noise, and soon the blaring was joined by frightened cries.

Tam became frantic. All the noise was doing nothing to help this, and she couldn't think straight. All of Vanny's caregivers were busy and she didn't know what to do.

Finally she couldn't take it anymore and just left, bringing a still wailing Vanny with her.

It was much more peaceful outside. The evening sun cast an amber glow over the usually shadowy urban environment. Though Ralph's place wasn't in the nicest part of town, it was head and shoulders above the place where Tamora had grown up, and she was content to just look out at it all from the top of the stairs, her mind immediately starting to clear.

She bounced Vanny a bit in her arms in an attempt to calm her down (babies liked that, right?), and after a few minutes she quieted. She felt a bit silly for it, but it also seemed to help when Tamora talked to her, so she did. For a while she just talked about nothing and everything- car mechanics, her classes, how she was scared to love Felix- and Vanny was content to listen to her, the relaxing calm of the evening lulling both into an eased, albeit one-sided conversation. And after a while, Van started contributing in her own little way, babbling as if she had a reply.

The teen smiled. Despite the circumstances, this was actually going pretty well. After all, she _had_ managed to get Vanny to stop crying all by herself. _Not bad, _she thought proudly.

The peace of the sunset was soon interrupted though by the panicked voices of Felix and Ralph from inside.

"Where's Tammy?!" Felix's voice rang out.

"Wait- where's _Vanny?!"_ both voices yelped in panicked unison.

The girls looked at each other for a moment before the door swung open, revealing the frantic teens, whose expressions immediately softened at finding them.

"There you are!" Felix sighed.

Then the best friends looked at each other in disbelief.

Was Vanny-

"Wow, she must_ really_ like you to not be screaming at you." Turbo interrupted their shared thought by voicing it.

Tamora looked down.

Vanny looked up.

Vanny smiled.

Tamora smiled back.

Since dinner had been burnt to a crisp despite their best efforts, the teens decided to just order a pizza instead.

Conversation seemed to come naturally, Tamora fitting seamlessly into the usual casual banter.

"I feel bad for Vanny." Felix said, his demeanor suddenly becoming solemn as he fed the little girl.

"How come?" Ralph asked.

"Cause she's stuck with _you."_ Turbo countered.

"No, because half her diet growing up is gonna be pizza if I don't cook for you every night." Felix laughed.

Ralph tried to glare but found he couldn't keep it, laughing along with his friends.

* * *

"Y'know, I think I've seen you at the arcade before." Ty said after dinner, "Up for a game?"

He didn't even wait for a response before tossing a controller to the older girl.

"Anytime. Whaddaya got?" she asked.

Felix smiled. Those two would get along just fine, they both had a wicked competitive streak.

"Hey Ralph, c'mere," Ty yelled over his shoulder, "we gotta induct her." he said with his trademark smug smirk.

Soon the teens were enthralled with their game, Felix acting as a spectator/referee when the competition got heated.

Vanny pouted. She was bored. No one was paying her any attention and she wanted to play!

Then she got an idea.

_Time for dessert._

Taking advantage of her distracted caregivers, she stood up on her wobbly legs and made her way to the kitchen.

With one final glance back she smiled triumphantly. She'd made it! Granted, it wasn't that far, but for her it was an accomplishment.

After scooting a chair up to the counter and balancing several of Ralph's schoolbooks (which almost weighed as much as her), Vanny clambered up her little makeshift ladder for her prize.

The cookie jar, perched on top of the counter like a trophy beckoned the little girl, and her tower was just tall enough to reach it. Just a little farther-

_Got it!_

Vanny held the jar up over her head in triumph, before the books below her started to wobble. Unwilling to relinquish her grip on her prize, she couldn't balance herself and fell backwards, landing hard with a thud and a crash as the jar broke into a thousand pieces.

The four teenagers looked up in alarm at the sound of the crash. Looking around frantically, they found that Vanny was suspiciously missing. Seconds later, a piercing wail sent them all rushing into the kitchen, abandoning their game.

Ralph of course reached it first and paused at the scene.

The room was in shambles- a chair had fallen, along with all his textbooks, strewn haphazardly around.

And right in the middle of the chaos was Vanny. And the shattered cookie jar. It immediately became obvious what had happened.

He immediately picked up the still crying toddler, holding her close while examining her for injuries. Nothing. He sighed, grateful that at least she hadn't been hurt.

But then he found a _tiny _smear of something red on his arm.

Quickly grabbing her arm, the harsh movement making the little girl cry harder, he found that his previous assumption had been wrong.

Vanny _had_ been hurt. It wasn't severe by any means, but it still made Ralph panic.

"Ok, ok," Felix placated both of them, taking the baby from his friend, "she'll be alright Ralph, it's just a little cut. I'm sure she's fine, just a little shaken, right baby?" he bounced her a little and she calmed ever so slightly, pausing to look at him.

Noticing the nervous teen father's fidgeting, Felix decided to give him something to do.

"Why don't you clean up, Ralph? I've got her."

He quickly left to do that, and Felix, with Vanny perched on his hip, went to get the first aid kit.

Ralph didn't like the look of that.

"It's ok Ralph, I just need a couple things out of it," he tried to help the older teen relax. He shot his cousin, who up until now was just standing around awkwardly, not knowing what to do, a look from the corner of his eye and he set to work helping Ralph, serving a dual purpose distracting him as well.

Tamora came to Felix's side, "Is there anything I can do?" she tentatively asked.

"Do you think you could distract Vanny for a minute?" he gestured to the toddler, whose wide teary eyes looked straight through her.

"Uh, sure."

She could do that, after all she'd already done it once tonight.

Vanny whimpered when she was moved into Tammy's arms, rubbing her sore arm before the older girl stopped her.

"Aw, it's ok sweetie. I know it hurts but we're gonna fix your owie right up." Felix cooed.

Tamora held and talked to her again (but of course not about Felix this time)as the other teen disinfected the cut with spray. Vanny winced at the sting, but didn't fuss, her eyes never leaving the other girl's.

After a minute the owie went away and she examined her arm.

He put a bandaid over it, and the little girl looked at it curiously before trying to pull on it.

"No no honey, you can't pull the bandaid off, it's gotta stay there until your cut's all better."

"There. Feel better?" Tammy asked, but she just looked at her.

"C'mon, gimme a smile. Just a little one?" she asked.

Nope.

"Just an eensy weensy teeny weenie smile?" Ralph chimed in, taking her and nuzzling his nose into her tummy, making Vanny finally give that sweet crooked grin he loved so much.

"There it is! See, that wasn't so bad, huh?"

Felix laughed. Ralph had been almost as upset as her.

Tamora couldn't help but marvel at how Felix did it. He calmed Van _and_ Ralph down and took care of the baby's cut without batting an eye. It was like he was their mother, she smirked.

"How about I make some more cookies?" Felix asked, already turning around to look for the ingredients.

_Wow, _he was more of a mom than her own mother.

Three yes's and a babble that Felix took for a yes followed, and Turbo and Tamora followed him into the kitchen.

Now _that_ they could help with.

Ralph, however, took a moment to rest from the chaos. He didn't know how Felix always stayed so _calm._

He lifted Vanny to eye level, meeting her bright eyes, now free of tears but still slightly damp.

"You scared me there, _Vanellope von Schweitz,"_ he closed his eyes as he touched his forehead to hers.

She looked away sheepishly, knowing she'd done something wrong. Her papa never called her by her full name unless she was in trouble. She'd been _bad._

She whined as if to apologize.

He opened his eyes.

"Aw, it's ok kid. But you can't go doin' stuff like that. You coulda hurt yourself way worse than _that,"_ he gestured to her arm.

She reached her tiny arms out and Ralph smiled, bringing her close to his chest.

She smiled, completely content to stay there forever, and they both settled into a relaxed silence.

"Aw, how sweet, it's a moment for the photo album," came the snarky voice of Turbo a moment later.

Ralph swatted him away playfully, smirking.

"Hey, c'mere kid," the youngest teen reached down, and Vanny lifted her arms as he picked her up, giggling as he tossed her in the air.

Ralph chuckled before getting up to see what Felix was doing.

"Heh, sorry about all this," he apologized as he entered the kitchen, "it's not always this _chaotic_ around here."

At that Felix whirled around to give his friend the most incredulous look Tamora had ever seen.

She couldn't help but laugh as Felix crossed his arms, a spoon covered in cookie batter in one hand, looking every bit like an over-it housewife.

Ralph laughed again, sheepishly rubbing his neck.

"Okay, it _is_ usually this chaotic. But we tried to be normal tonight, we really did! We didn't wanna scare ya off right away," he smirked.

Tamora laughed. "Scare me off? This is the most fun I've had in a long time!"

The three laughed, and after a moment Felix politely shooed them out of the kitchen to finish the cookies.

Soon they returned to their game, this time keeping a close eye on Vanny, which was easier now that she was occupied with licking the batter from the spoon Felix had given her.

And soon enough the oven beeped, and Felix laughed as four people simultaneously turned to look at him. They looked like they might eat _him _if he didn't get the cookies out soon.

So he did, letting them all have at it. Before they knew it the whole tray was gone.

"There's no cookie jar to keep them in anymore, so we might as well finish 'em," Ralph joked, poking Vanny, who smiled sheepishly.

Tamora laughed too, before her eye caught the clock and her heart sunk.

Was it really _that_ late?!

Felix followed her gaze and was just as surprised.

"Oh gosh, I've gotta get you home Miss Tammy!" he fretted, "Your father's gonna _kill_ me!"

She laughed, "You'll be fine, my old man's all bark and no bite."

"I dunno, he seems awfully _bite-y_ to me."

Tamora chuckled, standing up.

"Well, it's been a crazy night, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Seeya boys," she gave a salute.

Ty and Ralph saluted back, laughing.

She felt a tug on her pant leg.

"Bye kiddo," she scooped the little girl up, and Vanny smiled, "don't go getting into too much trouble now, give your poor dad a break." she smirked at Ralph, as Vanny babbled sweetly. _No promises!_

Just before they left, as if it were an afterthought, Tammy gave her a teeny hug, kissing the top of Vanny's hair lightly when she thought no one was looking.

But unbeknownst to her, Felix was looking, and it took all his strength to keep his eyes from watering.

His favorite girls _did _love each other!


End file.
